Little Boy Blue

It's been almost three months after I delivered our lil’ prince on November 20, 2012 at 514H. Praise to Allah as He has granted us with a true happiness of being a parent. Talking of playing the role of a mother, it is indeed a tough job and a first-time mom will always find it difficult to manage her time. I’m not sure if it was just me though *grin*but publishing this one, fine entry seems to take me forever.

November 13

It’s just a show

According to my ObGyn, I was due to deliver on 14th November 2012. I waited with anticipation and was looking forward to experience what people called “contractions”. It was Deepavali and we were planning to go to my parents’ for lunch when I noticed a show on my panties that early morning. My heart lurched. It was a mixed feeling altogether. I was scared but happy at the same time. There were so many questions running in my mind, “Will I be in active labour at any time?” “Will I survive the pain?” and “How does the labour feel?”

My hubby was all ready to rush me to the hospital but I refused as I didn't experience any contractions. At that point, I wasn't quite sure how the contraction would be or feel. All I know was from the readings I did– an intense pain that lasts for a few seconds. I told my mom the very first thing I reached her place and all she asked for is for me to go to the hospital. I was undecided, since I just had a few mild “attacks”. I just had the worries rest aside till that night when I started to experience the pain.

November 14

False alarm

I couldn't get myself to sleep as I started experiencing the contractions. The pain was unbearable. I read that we should focus on the interval of one contraction with another and if it becomes so frequent, you’ll probably have to get yourself on your way to the hospital. That morning I woke up, I spotted even more show on my panties. I started to panic. I stopped my husband from going to work as I want him to bring me to the hospital.

Once we arrived at the hospital, I was ushered by a nurse to a four-bedded room known as “Bilik Saringan” that is located next to the labour rooms. I was asked to lie at one of the beds. A nurse came and asked me to take off my panties. I was hell nervous. The nurse began to strap on the CTG machine to monitor my baby’s heartbeats. That was my first time listening to his heartbeats despite of the “screaming” and “yelling” from the LR. Two doctors came to check the dilation (you know how the procedure was carried out; something that some women don’t favour). The result was: ZERO (no dilation) I was told to go home. Oh have I told you that my ObGyn had given me a date for an induced labour? I was given a ‘deadline’; I got to be admitted on November 18 and will be induced if the baby refused to come out *gulp*

November 17

Another false alarm

We learned that our baby loved playing ‘hide and seek’. We also learned that he was a night owl as he was actively contracting only at nights. Only God knows how it feels when the baby contracted. I still couldn’t help myself to catch some sleeps as I was in pain. One thing that helps is to take a deep breath whenever it strikes. I was so touched when my husband gently rubbed and massaged my back whenever I experienced the contractions.

Once again, we went to the hospital. I was really hoping for the baby to come out so we will have the same birthdate but deep inside, I know that it was a thin chance. I was examined by an ObGyn whom I used to see during check-ups. I was eagerly waiting for her to tell me the good news and guess what, it was 1cm! *woot-woot* Unfortunately, she advised me to come back the next day as there was no available bed.

Later that night, my hubby brought me to Pelita. I know it will be my last nasi kandar but I couldn’t help to feast myself as the baby was contracting. We went back straight and it was the only time I wished for the time to fly even faster. Again, I was not able to enjoy my bedtime. Catching some sleeps was totally impossible.

November 18

One step closer to becoming a mom

I was brought by hubby to the hospital early in the morning (as advised by the nurses) and I was admitted right away. Thank God, I was placed at the second-class ward, in an air-conditioned room with four beds. The nurse asked me to change into a gown which I hate most as there will be some ObGyns coming in for their roundings. They then again checked for my opening. It was 2cm this time! They later decided to proceed with the induced labour *cry* I was then being checked by another ObGyn and after answering her few questions, she decided not to proceed with the earlier plan. I felt like doing some monkey jumps! I was damn afraid to undergo the procedure; I couldn't help myself to finish a roti canai my hubby bought for breakfast.

Later that night, the pain kicked in. The worst part is when hubby was leaving for home (as husbands are not allowed to wait in the ward) I cried! Yeah, I was a crybaby then. Certainly, every woman would wish that their husband could be by their side in that kind of situation. I was so happy when he said he’ll be coming back though he had to sleep at the waiting area. It brought smile to my face when he said so! *love you husband* But wait, the drama didn't end just yet.

November 19

Almost time

I felt really bad when I had to wake him up in the wee hours of the morning as the contractions intensified. I didn’t get any sleep for sure. I just need someone to talk to, someone to share the pain. He was in his deep sleep when I woke him up. I counted every minutes and seconds till dawn as the pain became even unbearable.

That morning, I was once again being examined. To my surprise, I didn’t dilate despite of the killing pain but my ObGyn assured me that it will progress. She told me that I will be pushed into the LR at 1100HR and they will break my water *double gulps*I was told to have my breakfast and clean myself.

Without further ado, a nurse came with a wheelchair at 1100HR+ and before I knew it, I was on my way to the LR. In just a few minutes, I found myself lying in the freezing cold LR. I was asked to change into a different gown and a few doctors came to check. It was still at 2cm. They then decided to break my water and start me with Oxytocin.

I find that the procedure of breaking my water pain-less. I was afraid at first, after some readings that say it was such a horrible experience. Maybe the doctor was good! I started to experience contractions after 30 minutes or so being administered the medication when a nurse came to give me a leaflet on Epidural. She asked me whether I was keen to take Epidural and she left me to discuss with my hubby. After a short discussion we had, I decided to grab the offer.

An anesthetist came a few minutes later to administer the Epidural which was just a few minutes procedure. He then briefed me on how to use the patient-controlled epidural analgesia or PCEA if I could still experience the pain.

... and the waiting game began

My baby and I were closely monitored as I was on Oxy. I could even see him contracting via the monitor displayed in the LR but it was painless as I was on Epidural. I was being monitored every 4-hour. Hubby was always by my side. I pitied him as he had to be there, waiting and just to keep me accompanied.

* * *

12 hours had gone and my cervix dilation was at a snail’s pace. According to their policy, a patient can only be given Oxy for the maximum of 12 hours. Hence, they decided to proceed with a C-sect as I was only 8cm dilated. It was really a pang to me. I have waited for so long! The worst part is my energy was running low as I was not allowed to take in any solid food except a few sips of plain water. I was really fortunate when another ObGyn came to check my dilation. This time, the procedure was painful despite of the Epidural running in my blood. She purposely poked and thrust her fingers in to force the opening. She then asked whether I could wait for another hour and my answer was ‘yes’.

About 30 minutes +/- after that harrowing procedure, I finally had the urges to start pushing. The ObGyn had earlier advised me to slowly start pushing if I feel it’s about time. When a midwife came in, I told her that I felt like pushing harder. Another midwife/nurse came in to educate me on the breathing techniques.

November 20

The pushing game began

I felt so weak after spending more than 12 hours in the LR. Too bad, I didn't have much breakfast. I pushed and pushed and what I could only remember is the midwife kept on telling me that I didn't perform the correct breathing technique. Hubby didn't stop encouraging, so did the midwife. I was drenched in sweat. After a few pushes, the midwife told me that the baby was crowning. She later asked my hubby to take a glance of it and what I could still remember; hubby was so exhilarated to tell me that he could see my baby’s thick hair. That didn't stop me to push but I was getting weaker. I started to pass out in between contractions as I was so exhausted. The midwife then decided to perform episiotomy (about 2cm) with the hopes that it will make more way for my baby. The midwife finally said that I had a few more pushes, and if none worked out, they will need to perform a C-sect. I felt like crying my heart out. Giving up would be the last thing I could think of. I mustered up strength and pushed with all my might. With the assistance of two midwives and hubby who didn't fail to give his words of encouragement, we finally welcomed our little boy into the world.

My baby was then immediately brought to the nursery. What I could remember, my husband didn't stop saying that I made it but I had trouble comprehending as I was exhausted and starving. I was mumbling while the midwife stitched me up, I didn't know what came out from my mouth. I was let to sleep once the procedure was over and I was awakened by my hubby before they brought my baby to be nursed for the first time. That was one precious moment for us that I believe would never be forgotten when we got to meet our little boy... 

Muhammad Zain Anas

*Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah*